what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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