Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
