Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
