C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
