Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
