So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
