Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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