He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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