so explain again why im purple
no
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
