dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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