Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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