hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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