Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
