I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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