'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
