Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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