I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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