So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
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Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
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Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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