oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
