so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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