my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Are we still banned from the library?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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