i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
