I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You dont lie about slip and slides
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
