allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
