Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
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The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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