Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Drake has all the answers
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
