I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
