Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
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