I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
