in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
