i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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