omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
