I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
