i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Randomize
