Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize