First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
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I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wash the frat house off of me
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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