hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out mid-signature
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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