Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
