i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
