Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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