You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize