i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
