So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
