i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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