Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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