I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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