Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
