I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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