I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize