I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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