he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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