Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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