you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The air was thick with penises
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
