He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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