Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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