I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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