the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I am one with the molecules
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
