my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i believe in u and ur pee
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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