question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
