she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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