it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
