I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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