I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
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Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
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Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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