You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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