When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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